Breakups.

I'm convinced that life just hates me. Every time i feel happy and comfortable where i am, and who i'm with, life throws me a curve ball. I've been known to over react a couple times. Something i know i over react with is breakups. But this time its different. It feels different. I don't want to except it. He started off saying that it was just a break, but then we agreed that technically its a breakup. He tells me that doesn't mean he'd never go out with me again. So what am i supposed to do right now. Do you know? because i have no clue. I love this kid. Now that we are broken up i feel like i have no one. I cant see me going out with anyone else. But i'm not the kind of girl you can just pick up and put down when its most convenient to you. I need you right now, and you left. You say the reason is, because you need to start putting your life together and thinking about what you're going to do after school since you're a senior. You are also worried about your home life and are stressed out about your parents splitting and think you made the wrong decision of who to live with. Which i agree is a lot on your plate, you know you're also dealing with school and work on top of that. So with all that, you throw me away. How can one minute you say you love me, and then the next breakup with me. When we started going out you told me never to leave you. I told you the same. My past relationships didn't last this long, and i wasnt treated the best. But you were different, i saw us staying together. You treated me right. You made me feel happy, i had someone to talk to. Because of you i stopped smoking and doing bad stuff. Now that you're gone i feel like i need that stuff to make me happy. I'm in denial. I don't think we are over. I love you, and you say you love me. I always tell my friends why want someone who doesnt want you? Now i'm in the same position and i can't take my own advice. If i listened to myself half the time, i would have so much less heartache. I have family and friends that help me so much but i still feel that emptiness. I know i need time and it's too soon to even think i'd feel better but its worse then past breakups. I feel like i don't want to do anything, because i'm always reminded of him. If he really loved me this wouldn't have happend. But then i think of him, he told me he couldn't be the best he should be for me. I didn't deserve that i needed better. I'm hoping he'll relize that he misses me. I hope that so much but what else is there to do. I don't feel like dwelling on this the rest of my life. Waiting for someone who decided they didn't want me, to want me again. I love you, and why you did this to me i dont know. Why would anyone but someone they love in this pain. They say, if you love something set it free. If it comes back its yours, if not then it never was to begin with. I'm going to listen to that. So i'll let you put your life together and feel happy and stable. I'll give you time, but if you take to long and forget about me I will move on and find the right guy. Whats meant to be will be. I had an amazing hear talking to you. You helped me so much, and i guess it just wasnt the right time for us to start dating. I love you always, and i hope you realize you feel the same.