Changes

I feel like I'm starting a new chapter in my life. I feel like so many things are changing. Starting a new job meeting new people making new friends.. That's a lot of change for me. Especially the new job, i start this weekend it's a little nerve racking. I'm scared of messing up, and doing something wrong. I'm scared i'm not going to make any friends and just be shy the whole time. I'm trying to not worry and just let it happen, I keep telling myself it will be fine just relax. I'm finding it harder to relax lately. I'm mostly getting frustrated with my school work. I don't know if i'm not paying attention or what but i just never know what i'm doing anymore. I try to pay attention and understand but i just don't. That's when i get frustrated. From the moment i wake up i can't wait for it to be the end of the day so i can just lay down and relax. Morning comes so fast though. I feel like 90% of my life is waking up, and that struggle. Why is it so hard for me to get up? I usually get enough sleep, but still i'm always exhausted when i wake up. I'm also always extremely tired at night, usually. I just never feel energized. I find it hard to keep up with my runs because i just want to lay down.. I want to feel energized again. I don't want to feel bleh like i do now. It's not like i'm not happy, i'm not really upset, besides some exceptions things are all right. I have a loving boyfriend, I'm making new friends and getting closer to some that have faded since last year. I just need to get through the rest of the school year and i think i'll be okay. I can't wait till summer. By then i'll be used to work and get to see my lovey more often. I wish i had that chance now, I think that would make me less stressed but i can manage.