Navy

I can't believe he left already. It seems like just yesterday he signed up. I couldn't be more proud of him. I think this is a great career choice for him. He is going to be so healthy and get to travel. I know that he will be great  in boot camp he's strong. Even though I support his decision of joining the navy I'm going to miss him lots. He was always there for me, I mean he had to be he's my brother. But we were just so close and its hard not having him around. I'm kind of nervous for it only to be my father and I. He just gets so angry and sometimes I can't handle it. Now Marks not here dealing with my Dad with me. I just feel alone. Don't get me wrong I have Dylan but when he's at work its just me and my thoughts. I'm trying so hard to just be happy but it gets hard. One minute i'll be laughing and having a good time and then i'll be upset. I just feel like crying all the time. A lot of my friends don't understand why I'm so upset. You get really close with your family when there is a loss of a loved one. When my mom passed away I think that's when I started getting close with my brother. He was the only one that know what I was going through because he was going through the same thing. I don't think many people have a bond with their siblings like we did. We had to mature at a young age. But he was always my older brother. He always had to be the role model. And don't get me wrong we, its not like we never fought. We would fight so so much when we were little and now. But we have a lot more good times than bad. Not only did we handle the loss of our mom together but then there was my Dad. After my mom passed away my father changed. I can't even remember the old him. He is nothing but angry and depressed these days. I never confided in my father, in fact we barely ever talk. I always went right to mark when I had any problems. I love my father but sometimes I just cant handle him. He gets so mad and nothing. It gets mad at his life and takes it out on everyone else. It makes me feel bad because I can't make him happy. Why is he so upset? am I really that bad of a child? I try so hard, to keep my grades up and just be a good kid. I don't lie to my father I never get into any kind of trouble but this is just not good enough for him. I just don't understand it. And I've lived with this since I was just a little kid. Thankfully I have Dylan and his family. They are so caring and they mean so much to me. I don't think I could do this without them. I honestly love Dylan so much. He makes me feel better. When I'm with him he knows how to calm me down and just be able to relax. He is my forever.