School

Well tomorrow is the big day.. well not that big. First day of junior year. I'm excited to see everyone and meet new people but I'm just not done with summer. It's been amazing, I met so many people that I'm going to miss seeing everyday. I'm not quite done with work yet but its approaching quickly. Thankfully my new friend Sarah goes to my school so she will be there which is good. We really hit it off from the first day. But that's not the situation for everyone else, aute is already done. She's honestly one of the best people I have met. She was there for me and joked around and had been with me since the beginning. As much as I didn't like working I met so many good people and really had a good summer. Most importantly I got to spend so much time with my boyfriend. We made so many new memories too. From going to the waterpark, having picnics, playing tennis, having our one year anniversary. I love him so much and I'm excited to see where our relationship will go next. Even though we get on each others nerves sometimes I know what we have is real. I'm glad I have him. Welp here's too a new school year and a new beginning.

This is goodbye✌

I've been thinking about this a lot. And thinking about what's best and what I really want. I thought maybe we could just be civil. I hate seeing someone and having to be awkward, like why can't there be conversation. And who knows maybe there could have been a friendship build onto there. But I think I'm writing this to say goodbye. We've had some good times but I think we've come to the end of the road. I really hope you have a good life and enjoy the choices that you made and the future choices. You seem very happy and I'm glad. We went our separate ways and you seem to be doing a lot better and I've been doing good too so I think this is for the better. You're right, why change things when your happy with what you have? I wish you the best. I hope the parent life does good for you. Goodbye ✌

Sleepover with the best

Last night was pretty fun. I've been friends with you for awhile but we don't see each other that much. Every so often one of us will out of the blue text each other and be like ayeee want to hang out? Then we drive around and just talk and talk and talk. Because we are buddies but we never see each other. We like a lot of the same stuff and we live pretty close so i mean if we really wanted to we could potentially hangout a lot. After hanging out for about two hours last night we decided we didn't want to go home yet, so we decided to just have a sleep over. Over the course of last night and this morning she was telling be about how her relationship was going and i realized how similar we were. She gets shy like me and doesn't know what to say half the time, and gets jealous and just yeah. But the difference is my boyfriend understands how I am and our relationship just works. We text all the time, that we can. We don't hangout with others of the opposite sex. We tell each other everything, and we talk on the phone at night. Basically we know what the other is doing all the time. We care about each other a lot and just always want to talk and it's like screw everyone else. But with her, she wants that kind of relationship because she had it but now shes telling me more and more about it, and it seems like it fading completely. Her boyfriend doesn't drive yet, but he lives pretty close. They go days without texting. When she told me that I was like holy crap. Even if you won't get to talk to your mate all day, there should always be a good morning and a goodnight text. That's just how it should be.. It shows that you care about them and how there day goes and how they sleep and just it's a good thing to do for a good relationship. Then she told me that when they do text they have nothing to talk about. She isn't the best texter, but he doesn't help the situation. She tries to start conversations and stuff but he just doesn't give it back. Both people need to try. She also shared with me how whenever they hangout he seems to only want sex. To me it seems like he's fading away, like he is caring less and less. I don't want her to get hurt because she's one of my good friends. I tried to give her some advice. Another thing that would make me suspicious of something is that he absolutely will not let her see his phone. Not even an option. He takes it away whenever she gets the chance to look at it at all. Even when she's just messing around, looking at the pictures and stuff. That's a little fishy to me. I told her to just straight up say she wants to like play with his phone or something. Like why would he care if he has nothing to hide? She said she really wants to look at it the next time they hangout. I hope she does, but i also hope she doesn't find anything. He seems like a good guy. I used to hangout with them all the time. But maybe he's not as cool as he seems you never know. I also suggested that next time they hangout and he wants to have sex like right away or whatever to possible just tell him she wants to just hangout and cuddle or something, because sometimes girls just need that. I think how he reacts will say a lot about how he feels about the relationship. I just hope she doesn't get hurt. She's a really cool person, a little shy but once she's comfortable she's a fun person. I really think we need to hangout more. I kind of just want to get her boyfriend problems off her mind because i can tell it's bothering her a bit. Last night was fun though. Besides the boyfriend conversations we also talked about a lot of stuff we just hit it off every time we hangout. If we would hangout more again we could become really good friends. My brother asks me all the time, is she the new bestie and i'm like there's potential. Today we were driving around in her car going to the bank and some stores and stuff. But then her car didn't start so i called my brother and like he saved the day and i feel like that made us that much closer. Like, memories in the making. She's not the only one I've been getting close to, I'm trying to make new friends but the rest are work buddies. But I've hit it off pretty good with a couple of them too and it's making me feel good about myself. I want to hangout with friends more. It just makes me feel cooler i guess haha. But I mean i think that's just because i see my brother who is like who i look up too and he has so much fun with his friends. I want to have fun like that, with my own friends. I mean i'll always have my best friend, my boyfriend. Which is more than enough to make me happy.

Boyfriend and Brother > everything and everyone else

Jesus H Christ ✌ ✌ ✌

Lol you don't get it. I was mean because I cared. Everything I ever said was me trying to help you. Maybe you'll never understand that. But one day, if you do realize that all I was trying to do was help you, get a hold of me. You can say I was a horrible friend because I called what you were doing stupid it stupid or whatever. Yeah I was harsh I know that, but I wasn't the only one to do wrong. I was truthful. I never tried to pull anything over on you, because you were my friend. I tried to help you and if that made me a bad friend then I apologize. All I wanted was you to have a good life but I guess we don't see it the same way. I see my life before I have kids and a family. I want to experience things, travel, live. I want a good education a steady job and a husband before I even consider kids. Because I've seen what it does to you. You're not the kid anymore. A parents job is stressful and I want to be ready for it when I decide that I am. You know why? Because I want to be the best that I can be when I'm a mom. I never want my kids to feel unloved. I want them to have a family. But till then I want to live it up. I want to do what I want and make memories. I want to have stories to tell my grand children. But I'm not going to be dumb and get myself killed. I want a long life. A full happy life. This is my time. When I have kids, its their time.

Probably the most relatable post I've ever seen.

Memories ☮☮☮

☑picnic

☐ zoo

☑stargaze

☑bowl

☑tennis

☐soccer

☑swim

☑beach

☑pictures

☑Dorney Park

☑draw

☐drive in 

☐carnival

I made this checklist at the beginning of summer and this is the first time I'm looking at it. My boyfriend actually made a lot of memories this summer ☼☼☼☼

Dylan and I have done a lot of this so far this summer. I'm really happy about it, every so often well get some food and just go to the park and hang out and it's like a little picnic. The park is our place. We go there all the time. This once we sat on the hood of his car at night and just looked at the stars. We were honestly so tired that night but that moment just meant a lot to mean. Astronomy is an interest of mine and to sit there and share it with my love just meant the world to me. I love doing things with him, bonding. I like stars but he likes bowling. I like bowling, but it's not something that I'm good at. I suck so bad at bowling but i like doing it with him because he enjoys it, and I enjoy anything when I'm doing it with him. But we did something that wasn't on my checklist. We got a pet together. 

I mean it's just a fish. 

But i love him, and his name is Lennie.