Nothing feels right anymore. Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy. I feel like i'm searching for something i'm not going to find, and i'm screwing my life up in the processes. All i want to do is sit alone and just do nothing, i don't want to get up or talk or move. I want to go away from everyone and just think, sit there and think. Maybe that's what i need. I'm starting to get to the point where i can't talk to anyone, i don't think they want to know my problems so why tell them. I'll keep it to myself so they don't get involved. I'll go out and feel a little better but then i come back and i have that pit in my stomach again. Everything is changing so fast. I don't like change, but that all that is happening right now. I can't focus on anything except how horribly i feel. I need something to take my mind off my hands for a little. I'm not going to give up, i guess i just have to keep looking for something to help. I was happy, i wish i felt like i did four months ago, i was so happy why did it have to end. What am i now? nothing.

Overwhelmed

Every decision made should be a lesson learned in life. Having doubts, changing your mind, all mean something. You feel this way for a reason. Sometimes you have to sacrifice some of your happiness for a better outcome in the future. Knowing what do to is hard. You never really know what your doing, most things are by chance. You might think you know what is going on, but in reality you never do. Life is strange, it tricks you and can make you feel like shit. You can make yourself feel like shit, things you do, say, feel. Things you can't control mutate your life. Everyday you have new thoughts, new thoughts that change your perspective more and more. If you're not happy, you need to take action, sulking in your own sadness is not a way to leave. Get out, explore, change things up. Getting into a rut can screw with your mind. Doing the same thing over, and over, will make you feel trapped; like your running the same day over again. Give it enough time and you will find yourself not happy at all. Everything happens for a reason right? The choices we make are supposed to happen. Never second guess yourself. Trust yourself, and believe that you know what is best. Life gets so over whelming, growing up gets pretty hard. You run into drugs, relationships, school, work... trouble. There is so much to worry about. You're going to mess up, its a fact of life. You can't be perfect. That doesn't happen there is no such thing as perfect. I don't know where i am going in life. I feel like i'm going down a slippery slope. My life is changing and i can't keep up with it. I want to be stable i want to know where i'm going, but at this point i don't know. I wish i did. I wish i knew what i really wanted. I wish i didn't have to think about the pain, the worries, the problems, the stress. When you feel like this, like you are overwhelmed you need to sit down and relax. Honestly, things will get better. They will work out. Trust that, and remember it.

~Hakuna Matata~