If i have to.. i'll deal

I'm in the process of losing someone. Someone that's near and dear to my heart. I messed up and i'm trying to make it up, but no matter what i do its not good enough. I don't think anything i ever do, will ever be enough to fix this. I deserve to be upset, for putting you through this. I don't know why, but i just can't let it go. I find myself chasing after you. I'm chasing after you just to be my friend. This might be selfish because I want you around for myself. You moved on. You could really care less if i left, you're tired of talking to me. You're just not mean enough to say you're done. You know i don't want to be done. That's right, i'm afraid of being done. I want you around. I want you in my life. I to be able to call you after a horrible day. I want to trust you. I  want to be there when you need someone to talk to. There's just something about you that i don't want to forget. 

If you end up deciding you've had enough,

i guess

i'll have to say goodbye

and just

deal..