Curve Balls

This week has been pretty rough. I've been having family problems, and so much stress now that i'm back after being away for a week. None stop i'm trying to get caught up so that i can relax. I was running around the school all day Tuesday just to find an administration or someone to talk to about making up my keystone. Honestly no one at my school is ever where their supposed to be. I ran around to about 5 different offices just to find out when i had to take this freaking state test. I eventually just ended up going to a random office telling them i need help with a really panicked voice, which was very unintentional. Like i said I'm under a lot of stress.. So then the lady called some people and she told them a sweet little girl really needs to know what she has to do about this test( made my day for calling me sweet c: ) But yeah that was settled. But I was also, and still really on edge because my dads been in and out of the hospital recently. At first i thought everything was fine, but now its just really getting to be. I don't know how many times i broke down crying to people when i was trying to tell them. I sought out my teacher who i had recently in the beginning of the year had a class with. She is a very kind lady and she helped a lot. Just felt good being able to talk to someone. She was glad that i came to her. That day i was also on aderoil that i got from my really good friend. That might have been why i was so... strung out i don't know. It sure helped on my test. But that does done and my dad came home today. But what surprised me yesterday was when i went to visit my friend before he got off work because its right by my house and i'm there all the time. I was standing there talking to him for about twenty or so minutes. When he finished he came outside to close this door i was standing at. Then he just kinda looked at me for a couple seconds. And he was like well i'll text you and then we did our little handshake. But then he didn't leave right away. He looked at me and said "Do you want a kiss?" And smiled. Then I said yes, and he kissed me. I have in the past liked him and i thought i was starting to, but it shocked me. He's so cute. He has a nice body and hes a good friend to me. He's a little older than me but what are you going to do you know. Three years, is that bad? I mean i don't really think so but everyone has their opinions. It made my day though i couldn't stop smiling really. It just made me happy. I don't know whats going to happen to us but what ever happens, happens. I'll rely on fate. If it doesn't work out it wasn't mean't to be, if it does? This showed me that you never know what is going to happen. Life throws curve balls. This might seem like complete shit, but they will get better. Tough times don't last forever. You just have to keep your chin up, and keep going. You never know what random thing, good or bad, is coming your way next.

Vacation with a friend

Tomorrow is the day. I'm going on vacation with one of my best friends who i love with all my heart. I get a week away from Pennsylvania, and everything that consists of my daily life. This is a week with no school, no worries, no drama, just fun. I get to experience somewhere new with my friend. I couldn't be more excited. I get to escape the cold weather and finally get to the warmth. I've missed it so much. I'll have a lot of work to make up... But its worth it. I'm going to miss my other friends though. Now i get to bond with my buddy though, its hard to keep in touch with people when you barely see each other in school. Bags getting pack time to get out of this town!

Bundles and bundles of problems

Today was one of those days... You know the days that everyone just seems like they all have immense problems. Like usually its manageable, but today no its intensified 100%. Then there's me who cares, and really wants to help but just... is too tired, and honestly doesn't know how to help anymore. Honestly today, the drama right now seems like bullshit. Guy and Girl relationship high school problems yes, police being involved? Are you kidding me. This is just another teenage problem, you really need to get the police involved... really? i mean come one.. Can we all just calm down just a bit. If you wouldn't be such a man whore, and just think a little about the person you're screwing over just maybe girls wouldn't come out to get you. Yes what he did was very wrong, that's understood. But then buddy you have to let it go. I know it seems really hard but you just can't hold on to it like that.. Don't obsess over the past. Its called the past for a reason leave it there. See this whole police scare can teach you a lesson. You can't let your anger control you. You can't get out of hand every time a relationship goes wrong or some guy just screws you over. I know it seems like the end of the world but its not. Why do you even want a jerk. Like really, there are SO many other people to choose. You have to understand were i am in this. I mean you being upset is really upsetting for me too. I mean you're my best friend i don't want to see you sad. I know this is the wrong time to say it but it couldn't be more right, i told you so. This is why i feel like nothing i can do can help you anymore. I tried to prevent this from the start. I told you from day fucking one, not to go for it. I told you he wasn't a good person like that. But you didn't want to listen you went right for it, disregarded everything i told you and just went for it. I don't mean to be harsh but you chose this hunny. And you could have stopped it a long time ago. You knew this was going to happen but you just didn't want to believe it. When you go for guys like him that's whats going to happen. But you have to learn to let the heck go. Don't attach on to something that isn't yours. You can't control their life just because they didn't want to be yours. That means no meddling, just live your own life and they'll live there's  You can not steel their things, or break them, or try and steel their car or what ever. That is not how this works. We are teenagers. Learn to handle rejection its going to happen many times before you find the right one. This is one fucking guy, everyone has a first Hun  Not everyone stays with that first, actually a really big percentage of people never talk to that first after high school again. Let it go. You will find someone in time. Don't waste your whole high school life over this one guy. Hes not even going to be around next year. This time next year your going to be hung up on some other guy. But if you don't let him go now, how long of your life are you going to waste feeling like shit about this one guy? Life isn't worth living sad, let yourself have fun. Get your head out of the gutter and live a little. I love you and i fully understand that its hard that you did shit with this guy and it was your first but, firsts are never lasts. Its time to move on. I love you, just move on. Don't know how long i have to say that until you do it. This is your life don't make it sad.