I don't even know. ¿¿¿¿

I'm so mixed up. I don't understand why I care. I think I just miss who you were. Before the guys and the drama. High school changed you. I don't understand why it bothers me, when I don't even think you've thought of it once. I'm so moved on but there's always that little tick in the back of my mind saying that for some reason I wish it never happened. Because when I'm with everyone else I don't care. But literally everything I do I'm like oh yeah I remember that one time.. wait stop I don't talk to them anymore.. like wtf. I just don't understand why it meant absolutely nothing to you, and it was just nothing to let it go. You were like family. But then the lies? Using me? Obsessing over guys? Doing insane things? Like what happened to just having a good time. I tried to be there for you. And help you as much as I could but I can't control what you do. And I need to worry about myself. But it was just so easy for you to leave. And never look back because now you have something else to obsess over. And nothing else matters right? Because who needs friends. And people to be there for you. I want to delete you from my life completely because you obviously were not worth 6 years of memories. Fuck me for caring.

Up all night ✌

I finally had something to draw. Just thinking about it made me jumpy. I was going to wait till tomorrow morning but I just couldn't. So I started tonight, and I finished tonight. Two different pieces technically. I like making something that i feel good about. When i can look at something i made and be able to tell myself that i did a good job, it's just a really good feeling. I want my art to go somewhere. I'm not the best out there, but I think I have potential. I want to improve in till there is nothing more i can improve: in till I can not get any better. This is just a hobby that can be with me forever. I just find it so amusing to sit down and have something i want to draw and create. I like making something interesting. I hope other people think it's good too. But I enjoyed it, and that's all that matters. I made myself feel accomplished. I love the feeling after i finished my work. now its almost 3 am.. I think I should go to bed soon. Thanks random girl on instagram for being my muse tonight
✌ ✌ ✌ ✌

7.13.13

Yesterday was our one year anniversary. I couldn't have asked for a better day. I got to spend all day with him. We wrote each other notes about how much we love each other. He really is my other half. He makes me so happy, and just always makes me laugh. Just laying around with him and talking makes me happy. Anything else is a plus. I love you Dylan. I couldn't see myself with anyone else. You are mine. Always and forever.

Reconnecting

Im done pushing people out of my life. Im getting my friends back. My true friends that put up with me bot responding for whatever reasons. & most importantly I reached out to my sister. I texted her and she called me and we caught up. She said I really made her night.. I know we've been kind of not on the best terms but shes my sister and I love her. And I'm going to suck it up and just try to work it out. I wish we were closer.

This past week was absolutely perfect. I spent 6days at the beach with my favorite person and his family. This Sunday is our one year anniversary. I can't believe its been that long. He is still so perfect and I love him more everyday. I honestly am in love with him. He's my everything he picks me up when im down and always can make me laugh. & when he's mad I can calm him down and make him happy which makes me really happy. Dylan we are kinda different in our interests but something works for us because we are perfect. I love you. And I hope we have many more anniversaries to go.