Past? Present? Future?

Lately I've been thinking a lot. Too much, to be exact. Not only am i over thinking, but I'm thinking about stupid things. Normally i try to 'live in the moment'. I like leaving the past in the past, and letting the future come, when it decides to come. Right now i'm in the present, so why waste time dwelling on things that already happened? It's hard knowing things might be done or over, and that's dangerous territory. So why think about it? Our minds can be the most dangerous thing out there, but it all weights on whether or not you can control it or not. Most of the time i'm good and not thinking about things/people/events that have hurt me in the past or made me do stupid stuff. When i do think about the past though, i always over think it. Who am i kidding? I over think a great deal of my life. But sometimes i like to think i'm good at keeping things in my mind under control. I mean for what i'm dealing with right now, i think its alright most of the time. If i'm upset about something that's currently happening then technically i'm still listening to my logic. You know what though... Fuck sadness in general. It's okay to cry every once in awhile but when i'm old and looking back at my teen years i don't want to see me being sad and crying all the time. I want to see myself having the time of my life. Not craziness, just fun. I want to go out, and experience life. Maybe i haven't been making the best decisions, but at least they're decisions. I can't count how many times i get offered something, and i respond "i don't know". Like why don't i know? Why can't i ever decide. Its like i never know what i really want. If i could change one thing about myself, i would make myself be able to decide things by myself. I want to know what i want. I get so confused and caught up in stuff because of something someone else pushes me onto. I let my emotions from peer pressure and guilt control my decisions but they're not always what i want. I need to make a to do list. That's what i need.

To Do

• live in the moment
• think for myself
• stop saying "i don't know"
• get my mind under control
• have fun
• don't hold myself back
• go on adventures

I think that's enough for right now. 

I can do it.